The Women of Kashmir ⋆ The Lalteen

The Women of Kashmir

» Sania Shabir Soherwerdy

Indeed nature has created everything in symmetry and balance. If fire exists, nature gave us water to put it out too. If there are huge intimidating trees, we also see small beautiful herbs. We come across massive bouldering mountains but after crossing the plains of crop fields.

In a similar manner, God created humans into two different but symmetrical beings. One side of the coin has the strongest of the creations, perfecting everything he does and being able to handle everything with utmost ease. Flipping the side we have the epitome of beauty, a mark of pure grace endowed with geniality & gregariousness.

Describing her as the best creation of the almighty wouldn’t be false. In all ways she is beholding creativity, battling her way into this cosmos and fighting for her existence every now and then. A woman indeed is the most beautiful of his creations.

I’m from a country where women are thought no less than goddesses. And whenever there is a discussion of beauty and elegance the first picture that comes to one’s mind is a beautiful Kashmiri woman resting on the riverside humming the ‘waakhs‘ of Lalleshwari in the air of benign affability. Being from this beautiful place called Kashmir, where women are picturized as the archetype of patience and fortitude. Observing women here for over a decade now I’ve understood many things.

Contrast

Over the years, I’ve seen beauty changing its meaning for women like seasons, always extravagantly beautiful. With changing definitions of beauty, the mentality and perceptions towards her have also changed. Earlier, women thought of fashion more as a feature than a statement. Now, women are following the latest trends to keep up with society. A few decades ago, when “Sadhna” haircut was pouplar, to look fashionable, the women of Kashmir wore a ‘Casaba’ to cover their head which was tucked with a bunch of fancy pins. The sides of their headscarves had a lacy appearance called ‘Jaalar’ followed by the ’powt’. Only boldest of them had the guts to have a flick of hair draping on face known as ‘Ghoongar’.

At that time when the impact of westernization was clearly evident everywhere, women of Kashmir were also developing secret desires to camouflage themselves with the rest of the world. Today clothing would seem incomplete if a woman doesn’t look foxy. While, in those bygone days, the traditional ‘Pherans’ with the finest of silver/gold embroidery (Tilla) works added moonlight to the feminine beauty, of which every girl dreamt.

Those were the days, inborn beautiful faces glowed by applying a bit of traditional homemade kohl with clarified butter. Gazing deeply into those bewitching eyes one could see their pure soul asking for not a single thing but love. Watching them in their daily courses like preparing food on the Kashmiri ‘Daan’ or blowing air into the ‘Samawar’ to ignite the sparks to prepare the ‘Noon Chai’ or preparing a ‘kangri’ for everyone was no less than a treat to eyes.

Simplicity

The secret to their beauty lie in the way they had their perspective on life. In those days in Kashmir, it was too rebellious to have a slight tinge of color on the lips or face. The maximum of the fashion in the women living far from a village included a maximum of a fancy ’tilla pheran’, ‘kasaab‘ with more pins, scarf with more lace, lowers with more folds and eyes with no more than a kohl on it and that was it. Nothing more than these few things meant fashion to them. Yet, these few things only made them as sparkling as a pearl in the ocean.

Understanding only a few words like “Hello!” in the English language made them gain immense popularity within their neighborhood. Knowing the full details of the Bollywood movie shown on the TV in the nearby panchayat houses made them a moving Google of their time. With all these little yet great things, the women of Kashmir craved a wider perception. With the bad times coming forth and complexity in minds, Kashmiri women became prey to modernization. Not only did their sense of beauty change for them but their mentality got a boost of ten folds also. Women who used to think of fashion more like a comfort now followed the best of Victoria secret’s supermodel. Mostly, older section of the population wear pherans and the young folks tend to wear more western clothes.

Values

In the past when women used to gather around the local drinking water facility and gossip about feminine things, they zipped their lips as a man passed by and giggled or blushed with shame when he looked upon them. Today the scenario is different, women ought to have some male friends to chat with. Otherwise, they think of themselves as uninformed women with the same “old mentality”. The question arises here why do people think of following old as odd or wrong?

The women who used to preach to their children, the intricacies of our mother language Kashmiri, are now teaching them how to speak English perfectly. Hence, depriving them of the essence of being a Kashmiri child. While the status of women has seen some sinusoidal changes, the graph of empowerment of women is surely a straight line in the valley with a positive slope. Considered as subordinate to the male supremacy, in the traditional society of Kashmir, women remained dependent on the male members of the family. Hence, could not develop their personalities or be independent within or outside their family.

In olden days, ‘his wife’, ‘his daughter’, or ‘his mother’, was introduction of a woman but today her identity is her own. Today’s woman is Miss Artist, Miss Reverend, Miss Politician, and many more ‘Miss’. Women are today enjoying the best of their careers and they are allowed to take decisions on their own. No matter good or bad life is today, a woman is life drawn by her own hands.

Deprivation

In the past, the minds of women were filled only with the enchanting picture of beautiful meadows of the valley and sounds of a nightingale singing in a distant forest or the babbling beats made by river Arpath. Watching their brothers or children out in the fields playing cheerfully made them feel alive. The only thing they used to be concerned about, was the preparation of food for dinner. After the unrest crept its way into the roots of Kashmir, the minds of the women lost their sacredness and were all set for a nightmare. Portraying herself as master of everything yet didn’t have a vivid idea about herself, as their minds filled with terrors beyond definition, they echoed with the increase in tension.

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On one side, as Bharat enjoyed lavish dinners and graceful parties in the lawns of the neighborhood, Kashmir was boiling with thoughts of a never concluding rebellion. The women on this account were the worst hit as many lost their breadearners or guardians to devastating conflict.

An expecting lady craving desperately for a healthy baby hoping to keep her child safe from every phantom in the universe, gets her hopes crushed when she look at youth of her motherland who get apart from the existence called life. Anxiety and stress engulf mothers on why hasn’t their kin turned back home while hearing Mu’azzin call for evening prayer and longing for their long-lost family members. The minds of women in Kashmir clearly landed into the limbo of never-ending trauma and depression. Paving a great road for Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder women here took a giant irreversible step into agony and misery.

Conclusion

There is a thin line between progress and evolution. While the status of women evolved in the light of progress yet the perception and mentality didn’t evolve. The development of mentality would surely take some time. Women of Kashmir still are just puppets in the hands of some people disturbing the balance of nature. They have overcome the hardships and kept getting up whenever they hit the bottom in their voyage to the present. Tor them, these problems don’t even need a resolution plan.

The entropy still exists which hinders the blossoming but is the only adrenaline rush to drive mentality towards the evolution. There will be a time when Kashmir would be a utopia for women. They would be more than just a comely and tantalizing view. They will not only be the personification of patience but the personification of the almighty’s best creation.